9 Pitfalls or Disadvantages to Online Dating
1. Accuracy of a profile. You never know the honesty of a person until you take the time to explore them. Deception is common in online dating. People can profusely exaggerate as to who they would like to be versus who they really are. Listen for inconsistencies in their conversations as a clue to their validity of revealing who they really are. I have heard of one story of a lady who worked as an administrative staff of a modeling agency who posted a picture of one of the models as herself. Her date was highly disappointed after making a long trip to meet her only to discover a complete fraud.
2. Dependency on the internet. Sometimes communications and emails may not reach their destination. While online dating is 24/7 and at your fingertips glitches of lost emails can leave a person feeling rejected after never getting a response when it could have just been an error in the system. I always suggest at least two or three attempts in communications just in case this situation happens.
3. Safety. You are meeting someone out of your circle of friends that has not been recommended, introduced and no one knows. Always meet at a public place and mention to a friend of your whereabouts. Always go with your gut instinct when meeting a total stranger. Never give your last name until you get to know them if you are interested in them.
4. Chemistry prediction. Online dating does not have a gage for measuring chemistry in a potential date. It does not matter how many emails or phone conversations you exchange. That proverbial mystery is never quite realized until a face to face meet up for a real connection.
5. Information overload. There are so many options and a sea of faces that can be overwhelming. The phrase" a lot of work" is a comment often shared with online daters. I always suggest to narrow the search with the details that are an important priority to your wish list. This will keep your experience fresh, fun, and not overbearing.
6. Burn out. If you date a lot it can be tiring to constantly meet someone new and retell your story over and over. I once had a lady tell me she was averaging lunch and dinner dates on average eight times a week. Mass marketing and running numbers can eventually cause a lack of interest from being exhausted and frustrated. It is a good idea to be selective with your time and make calculated judgments on who has real potential for what you are looking for versus a random hit or miss date.
7. Little Tolerance. Patience, skill, and effort are great adjectives to describe success in online dating. People are unwilling to put up with the slightest imperfections when there is always a vast drawing board of exciting new prospects to return to. A little patience might yield a reward. Do you really want to constantly be back at square one before you even have given yourself time to get past the fact that "he admitted snoring?"
8. Motives. The majority of people online are looking for a long term partner. However, there are those out there that are actually married who just want an affair, or even swingers, swappers, or even scammers that want your money. The internet with its anonymity is a breeding ground for con artists looking for prey. Be alert and if there is any mention of money and western union in the same breath, delete them and report a concern to the site.
9. Expensive for men. I have heard men complain about how expensive online dating can become. Many men ask women out for lunch or dinner right from the beginning hoping for a connection or sincere interest instead of just the bill. I always suggest a first meeting be at a coffee shop. If there is no chemistry then only little expense or time is invested!
Love, Sex & Deception
The Chronicles of Online Dating
by Lisa and Claire Hultin
isbn 978-1600377754
Pub. date 7/15/10
Description: Have you ever had a date arrive dressed as Elvis and it wasn’t Halloween? How about that handsome guy who said, “I’m divorced” but failed to mention he’s now remarried? We are a mother and daughter who have dated online, compared our notes on “internet frogs,” …. and actually survived! Reality is the best education, as seen in the humorous anecdotal stories of singles who expose “the real” cyber scene. Learn how to be a savvy shopper online with strategies to protect your most important investment–your affection, trust and time!
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