VAMPYRE BLOOD – Eight Pints of Trouble by George Earl Parker

Are you ready to laugh until your stomach hurts? If you are you have to pick up George Earl Parker’s Vampyre Blood a hilarious and fresh twist on the ole tale of Count Dracula that you won’t be able to pass up. The good Count has taken the advice of his old friend Igor and decided to head to America where he saves a young lawyer from death. But this isn’t the act of charity, Dracula needs young Brad to be his lawyer because he is at his wits end, all the other lawyers that he has approached think he is insane and won’t help him. Now Brad is heading towards the light after being hit by the car, but the Count DOES sound insane, he is a man claiming to be the legendary Count Dracula but he plays in a Goth Rock band called the Techno Zombies?? Brad must be out of his mind!

But what the Count offers him is life, but of course there are strings attached, he tells Brad that he can give him 8 pints of Vamp blood and save his life IF he will be his lawyer. He also assures him that he will not himself turn into a Vampyre, but Brad isn’t sure he wants to go back to his life.

His wife wants a divorce and his boss has given him a huge case against a Mob Boss, Stantucci, a shady dinner invitation from another laywer. Things don't seem to jive really and there a lot of quirky characters who play important parts in all the mystery. One thing I did find a little too goofy was the standoff at the pie factory. Although in the whole of the story I can not fault the entire book which I found completely enjoyable! Fun charcter's and a new twist on an old take, Vampyre Blood simply rocks.

When young New Orleans lawyer Bradley Harrington Chester the third lies dying in the street after being hit by a speeding car, it seems that his life is over. But as his spirit drifts away toward a distant light he is approached by an exotic fellow who claims to be both the Count Dracula of legend, and a violin player for The Techno Zombies, a Goth rock band on a world tour.

The Count explains that with the aid of a wizard he has abandoned his dark legacy, and now finds himself in need of a legal representative. So he offers Brad a deal, he can shuffle off into the light wherever it may lead, or he can become his lawyer, and be revived by a transfusion of Vampyre Blood.

The very last thing the young lawyer remembers before dying was his wife asking for a divorce, and prior to that he remembered being handed the prosecution of a mafia kingpin on his first day at the district attorney’s office. He wondered why the DA was so friendly to him, and so nasty to his star attorney Richard Bleddon, and he wondered why Bleddon had arranged a champagne supper at a fancy restaurant for him and his wife. After which, a speedy midget had snatched his wife’s purse and led him out into the street to die.

Becoming impatient the Count presses for an answer to his offer, and after being assured that he won’t become a Vampyre himself Brad accepts, hoping to go back and make sense of the madness that brought him to the brink of death. Populated by loveable rogues, scheming lawyers, and thieving gypsies, Vampyre Blood—Eight Pints Of Trouble, is an insane romp through the human desire to get what you want at any cost, and the strange places that desire can lead to.

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